dublinka

You'll find some ponderously dark poetry, from Joe Cabdriver, lurking over at The Institute for the Advancement of Violence. I love this one:

Why I Hated
Lost In Translation

This movie drove me fucking insane!!

Who cares about these yuppie narcissists
And their softly depressing lives

The soft irony, soft humor
The downcast eyes and mouths
The passionless romance

Oh such elegant suffering
Such emptiness
In posh high rise apartments

The Bill Murray character
Wasn’t even half as annoying
As the young yuppie woman
Played by……oh…..what the fuck is her name

Here’s the spoiled little bitch
In the middle of one of the world’s
Greatest cities, Tokyo

With its amazing yet unfathomable
Culture

A whole world to explore

And all this bitch could do
Was whine to somebody
On her cell phone
How she went to a Buddhist temple
And felt nothing

Boo Fucking Hoo!!

Maybe if she got off the vicadone
She’d feel something

The Bill Murray character
Liked him better in Scrooged
Rich actor on a career downswing
Kind of had a hard time feeling his pain
can’t speak the language
can’t get laid
oh my god let’s make
a whole boring movie
out of the ordeal

But the thing that really bothers me
Is that every fucking critic
And everyone I know
Slathered praise
Over this pretentious piece of tripe

Why all the bother
over this existentialist bullshit?

All I could have hoped for was for
Godzilla to flatten Tokyo
Sometime during the movie

But I had to turn it off
So I wouldn’t vomit
On my Jason Vs. Freddy DVD

Which was shit
But much more entertaining

No time for fake poignancy
When Freddy and Jason are coming
To disembowel you
For smokin’ pot and havin’ sex.

Much more meaningful.

Maybe I’m just too white trash
to appreciate the subtleties
but give me the original
Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Over this garbage.

Fuck you, Sofia Coppola
For wasting my time.

Go back to skeezing
Off your Daddy’s trust fund

Get the fuck out of movies